Project Housewife: To the mom who just can't

It all started at preschool pick-up.

Beeland was riding side-saddle on my hip, trying her best to escape or grab something or break my back, or all three. There were also 500 bags and papers and coats wrapped around that (baby holding) hand. The other arm was hugging my oldest daughter, who is awesome at unintentionally tripping me, bless her.

Mid hug, Mary Cannon's teacher stopped me to say that MC handed her a whoopie cushion on the playground today. The teacher asked MC where the whoopie cushion came from, to which said child responded, "from my pants." Turns out, my little "lady" was storing a 36" red Martha Stewart (it all comes back to Martha) balloon in her bloomers...deflated, of course...but still, baby. got. back.

Not that I'm surprised...

I wasn't sure how to respond to the balloon in pants issue...so I made some awkward comment about panties and kept walking. Whyyy?

We made it to Ford aka the stripper's class and whatdoyaknow, his shirt was completely unbuttoned...I should also mention there was a dollar bill sticking out of his back pocket.

After several errands, we made it home and the kids went down for naps.

Well, first Mary Cannon accidentally flushed an entire roll of toilet paper...or tried to. I fished it out, along with everything that goes in a toilet and said good night.

Thirty minutes of silence gave me no reason to believe they weren't sleeping, until the click-clack of princess heels got louder and louder. I heard "I'm sorry" before I saw anything. Then this precious little sinner popped her head around the corner.

Not sleeping...

While this one transformed herself into Frieda Kahlo, the stripper/back pocket dolla' boy, was pretending to snore. Three year old boys aren't very patient though. It's wasn't five minutes after Frieda was sent to timeout, that another clinking sound started. I busted my brave middle child dangling from the top shelf of Mac's medicine cabinet stealing handfuls of pennies out of the change jar that is supposed be unreachable.

Between the make-up and the money stealing, the stuffed clothing and the lack of clothing...I can't help but see the resemblance.